Hypnotic

The nature of the illusion is that it is hypnotic.
That is part of the game.
For the game to be worth playing it
had to be all consuming,
addictive,
completely immersive,
it had to be hypnotic.
The game hypnotizes you into thinking it is real.
Even when you wake up into those moments of clarity, absolutely remembering that
you are playing a game, that you are in an illusion, you are caught up in its swirl and the reality of the game
starts slipping through your fingertips.
You are consumed again into its trance.
The game hypnotizes you in all directions.
Its architecture is huge and multi-layered.
It is breathtaking in its scope and direction.
The moments of clarity are drops in the pool of its ocean.
The trance is adorable, it is melancholy and memories.
It is your heart
and everyone you've ever loved.
It is a security blanket.
There is no machine perpetrating the game, no conspiracy of punishing gods or angels.
The driver of the machine is your own self, and mine.
And all of our selves moving through time making colorful, noisy ripples in the ocean of our now.
Our ever changing, swirling, dirty, wonderful now.
We are in love with the illusion.
It is the one thing we did not count on when we decided to play the game.
Our logical, adventurous minds.
We didn't count on falling in love with the illusion.
It is the thing non-realized guiding beings and gods cannot understand.
We are in love with the game.
We never want to leave it.
We never want to let it go.
There is exquisite sweetness in suffering here. There is blood here, and bones and hearts and longing.
They can't remember because they have left the game, but it is what makes the illusion so compelling.
It is what they can not remember.
My broken heart,
my failures and memories.
My childhood.
The majesty and mystery of my creation, my illusion.
The footprints I've left on my heart, my soul, Mine. Me.
My dancing spinning yearning dreaming girl.
My long blonde hair and freckles. Me.
The nature of realizing the illusion is that it sets you free from the bondage of your self.
I am in love with the bondage of myself.
I am in love with my broken sweet dancing girl self.
Leave behind the ribbons streaming, backyard bubbles, party dresses, green grass, picnic tables...
leave behind my dreams of being a star.

The nature of the illusion is that it is hypnotic.